I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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