I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
wow bdsm is so cute
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
