its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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