We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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