i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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