You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it's like iHOP with fire
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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