i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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