Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
