Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize