Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
