you have to choose: penises or morals?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
