she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
