At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
