mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It's just like the Real World with babies
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
