Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
