She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
