I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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