:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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