She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
