I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So much Jack, so little girl.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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