someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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