At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
