New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
