at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am mentally ready for anal.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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