What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
