can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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