I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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