I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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