i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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