Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
