so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need a beard to bite.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
