I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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