My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
