It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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