advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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