I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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