Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
