My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
