I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
