I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
