My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
