the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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