If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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