DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
