It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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