Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
