You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
