yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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