Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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