So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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