bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
