saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
