last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
