I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
