Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
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