hell yes lets make some ravioli
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
