The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
