im drinking this country out of the recession.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
