I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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