I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize