The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
