He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
