I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
